I can't believe how soon we're leaving. It really snuck up on me. I guess I just kept thinking, "oh, we have a bunch of weeks, we have a good couple of weeks," and now I realize that my last day of work is next Friday, and then a week after that we're leaving Philadelphia to go to Boston to see my dad graduate. Then on June 10th, we leave.
I'm scared. I don't know why-- I guess I just don't know what to expect, and even though I do feel confident, I feel sure now that we will actually go, still I feel scared about what it's going to be like, will we have enough money, will the van break down before we even pass Michigan, etc etc etc. I'm nervous in this kind of generalized way and I'm not sure really what I'm nervous about, I feel like it has to be those specific things I mentioned about money and van problems etc, but I don't think that's it really. I think maybe it's just because it's so new! And because I am such a planner at heart, and though this trip is planned in a way, it's not planned the way I plan things. I can't obsess over details on this trip. I can't do any of the worrying habits I usually would fall into at this point. The way this trip is, it doesn't really work like that. I just have to let go, and realize that there's nothing at stake. Aram and I are finally in a place where things are certain, and we had stable jobs for awhile in Philadelphia, and we saved money, and we made plan for this trip, and now it's going to happen and I just have to stop worrying and stop trying to control everything and let go and just take the trip. And it'll be whatever it is.
I think this is something I really need. I really want to learn how to relax a little more and not worry so much about having everything under control. This trip is obviously a challenge for me since I tend to need to have every detail under control and I also tend to get super super worried very easily (ha! I'm sure if you're my family you already know that.) During the duration of the time we're on the road, I'm going to have to be flexible. Teach myself to let things go, to let plans change...that's a huge point of doing this, for me at least. I think I am very nervous because soon we will actually be living in this van and there will be no going back!
We are in really good shape as far as getting things ready goes, I think. Today I boxed up some more stuff which we will be taking back to Aram's mom's house this weekend-- his mixer, pedals, other music stuff. I also put some photos and art, notebooks, my tax forms, and other boring stuff in a box to take back to Boston with my parents when we eventually go there in June. We had these plastic drawers leftover from college with a bunch of random shit in them that I went through and cleaned out completely. We'll probably offer them to the guy moving into our house or just throw them away.
This weekend, we'll be taking mostly the rest of Aram's work clothes (save a few things for his last week), his music stuff, our bike trainer, Aram's bike, the rest of the art on our walls, and other odds and ends probably.
That basically leaves: several bags of clothes i've labeled "giveaway", our clothes that we're actually taking in the van, our bed, our dresser, our bedside table, my bike, my dad's bike rack that we've been borrowing, our fan, a giant amazing antique mirror, both of our computers, both of our cameras, a few books, my guitar, and about box's worth of random stuff that we will be taking in the van (mini word games/board games, plastic army issue drinking cups, a thermos, a foldable camping plate and a set of foldable camping bowls, my kindle, our passports, our trip planning notebook, my pens and sketchbook)
-The giveaway clothes are going to goodwill or something.
-Our bed is going to the guy who is moving into our house ( our friend max), he's going to buy that and the dresser.
-I'll offer him the bedside table for free (the knob is broken; it's from ikea :( if he doesn't want it, it'll just go in the trash)
-my bike and the bike rack will go home in the van (we'll have to take the bike apart I think)
-fan will stay in the house, we don't need it and it gets so hot here in the summer they will!
-the mirror will go to ambler, pa to my aunt's house, as she has a huge storage space and is kindly offering to store it for us as well as an awesome antique couch we bought awhile back that she is already storing
-the rest of it is coming with us.
That's really it. It's so weird to look around our room and see so little, and then when I walk into the living room and look around I realize basically everything there is our roommate's.
Anyway, this is a pretty boring post, but I wanted to kind of record where we're at. We leave Philadelphia in basically two and a half weeks. The last week we're here we're not going to be working, so we'll be taking care of loose ends like going through the pantry and figuring out what's our foodwise, helping to clean the house and get it ready for Max to move in, buying last minute stuff we need (first aid stuff, a camping "sink" for washing dishes, some more plastic/unbreakable dishes for eating off of, I need to buy some shorts...boring boring but necessary to take care of, cleaning out Aram's car)
And then we leave! Goddamn. We've talked about this trip for years. I think part of me never though we were actually going to take it.
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